I was having a dream.
At first I picked up smells. In a dream where first of all you see, then you probably hear and (maybe?) feel it was a queer thing to catch a smell first. It was tart, earthy, smoky. A smell that foreshadowed the depth of meaning of the upcoming meeting (and how did I know that there would be a meeting?)
Gradually, alongside with the smell penetrating through the nostrils and pores into the soul, the eyes kind of began to see clearly – the initially thick veil became thinner and thinner with each new raising of the eyelids. It took me to blink some twenty times before my vision get back to right. Apparently, it was necessary. Apparently, the seen was not supposed to be seen instantly. It was necessary to prepare for it.
The eyes gradually began to distinguish a silhouette in front of them. It had human forms. Its movement spoke of anticipation, not a painful one, but long-awaited. These were not sudden twitches and not complete immobility, but repeating turns of the head, soft movements of the hands, as if on some surface. I was starting to see long gray hair, and simple dark clothes like a cloak. Little by little I realized that there was a table between us (and we were sitting opposite each other) and began to distinguish some objects on it. There was a plate with some simple food, a couple of lighted candles, and five playing cards, laid out face down. The rest of the pack was not visible.
Then I heard a voice. Although it arose all of a sudden, it did not surprise or frighten – it appeared a clear continuation of the silence that had been before. This voice seemed to be continuing a conversation that had been going on for half an eternity. By tone and pitch, I could not understand in any way who it belonged to, a woman or a man. I tried to look into the face. It was still incomprehensible: the features of thousands and thousands of faces flowed in it, creating an indistinct image.
Then I looked around and didn't see the walls. But there was nothing else either. As if we were everywhere and nowhere. We were the space and an infinitely small part of it.
This human in front of me (or one who put on human shape) said that it was time to open the cards. And while I nodded my head in the affirmative, my inner voice thought it looked like some kind of fortune-telling, but immediately convinced itself that it was not. (And yet, where is the pack? And why are the cards already on the table?)
My companion reached out to the first card and opened it. It was a ten of clubs. “Well, not bad,” I thought, as if I understood the rules by which the whole process took place. Meanwhile my partner immediately and without hesitation opened the second one. There was the sun drawn in the middle, in two directions crossing the horizon, that divided the card in two. I stared at this image, as if it could reveal the meaning of all. The person across noticed that I rushed things and that it was worth opening all the cards first.
With that, the person took the third card with both hands and, without looking at it, showed it to me. It was a mirror. In that card I saw myself. My usual features, my face. And, although the mirror card of course was itself an unusual thing, it didn't really strike me, and we moved on to the next one.
"Be ready," I heard the calm words of my companion. I wanted to ask the question "to what?" But, apparently, the said phrase did not imply questions, since the card was already taken in hand and a moment later it was opened.
And then everything around suddenly began to shake, the table at which we were sitting began to twitch, as in an earthquake, the whole space seemed to jump up and down and collapsed every moment into an uncountable number of fragments. I had a feeling that we were endlessly falling somewhere, and that the world was crumbling, and that it did not have much time left. It seemed that all the sounds of despair got together at that moment. In the midst of the noise, I heard the voice striving to reach me, "This card is emptiness!" and immediately after that, "Now it's your turn!"
Strugglingly I reached out to the last card, grabbed it, turned it over...
And woke up. Having recovered from the dream, I felt that I had known something important and that I had completely forgotten it.
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